I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I need moral support for this bender
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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