i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
