My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
