There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
