can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
