He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
