another moral hangover. fuck.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
