I wish I could teleport
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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