very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
