i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
