Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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