She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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