I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
love makes seman taste better
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
