im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
