So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
