I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
