the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
