Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
