Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
