I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
