White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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