Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
