I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
