So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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