Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
