You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Found your dick twin last night
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
