So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
