Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
there is glitter all over my balls
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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