My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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