I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
