Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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