i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
