I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
