he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
