just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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