You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
