You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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