My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
