Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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