Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.

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(618): View more from Illinois

he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.

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(386): View more from Florida

Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.

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(904): View more from Florida

Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...

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(269): View more from Michigan

Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I know where his drugs are but not my pants

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