Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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