okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
