No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
