It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
