In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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