Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
