guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
