your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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