If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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