Porn is love you can see.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
