Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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