3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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