talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
