He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
PANTIES FOUND
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