The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
