i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
