Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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