According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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